CHICAGO — Barack Obama said that he will be running for a third term as president in the 2020 election, this week, according to sources close to the former president.
Regaining his composure after an uncontrollable sobbing fit, the former president told Fake News Direct reporter, Jim Accoster, that he is the only one who can defeat Donald Trump in the upcoming election. Obama vowed that Trump will not succeed in the continued destruction of his legacy.
Obama said that he has worked too hard to destroy America, just to have Trump come along and make America great again. The former president lamented over Trump’s recent surge in supporters, in spite of all of the false accusations.
“It looks like that Russia thing that me and Hillary cooked up isn’t working. That Stormy Daniels thing appears to be falling short too, so this situation calls for drastic measures. Therefore, I’m officially announcing the start of my 2020 campaign, effective immediately,” Obama said.
Congressional Democrats and other assorted swamp creatures were pleased to learn that Herr Obama is attempting to make a comeback.
“We’re going to gerrymander the hell out of those districts, after we steal the mid-terms, so there will be no possible way Trump can win,” remarked Rep. “Liddle” Adam Schiff.
An Obama campaign spokesman said that the ex-president’s primary campaign funding machine will be run on the tears of little Ukrainian children and the sale of all the uranium that Hillary Clinton gave to Russia. The other source will reportedly be from kickbacks Obama received from the pharmaceutical companies through his Obamacare scam.
When it was pointed out that Obama is constitutionally prohibited from running for a third term, campaign spokesman, Will Cheatham, dismissed this as a minor detail.
“We are confident that the issue of constitutionality will be a mere formality when it comes to our agenda. We trampled on the Constitution for eight years, so this should be a cake walk,” Cheatham said.
Fake News Direct directly asked Obama for his take during a subsequent telephone interview.
“C’mon man! When you’re part of the Deep State, anything is possible. This time, we’re comin’ after your guns, for real… Oh, and by the way, you can still keep your same plan, ha, ha.”