CNN Host’s Head Implodes During Trump-Bashing Session

NEW YORKCNN host Jake Tapper was hospitalized with injuries sustained when his head imploded during a rant about President Donald Trump, during a taped segment of The Lead with Jake Tapper, on Monday.

Tapper has been one of Trump’s most outspoken critics, who is noted for his frequent on-air meltdowns whenever the president is the topic of a show.

Tapper was recently diagnosed with Trump Derangement Syndrome, according to a source close to the television show host.

“We knew something like this was going to happen… We tried everything to keep him calm,” the source said.

Medical experts say that a head implosion due to TDS is an extremely rare occurrence. According to Dr. Charlotte Tan, the head will normally explode when subjected to too much fake news. However, Dr. Tan said that Tapper suffered from a loss of positive “noggin pressure,” due to a complete drain on all of his common sense, causing his head to implode.

Tapper experienced his unfortunate episode just as he was about to accuse the president of lying for the 100 billionth time. Witnesses said the implosion came as Tapper shouted, “I now have new evidence that proves Trump lied about Russian collu… WTF?”

“It was horrible,” said a frightened control room technician. “I heard this strange sound, sorta like a cross between a fart and a balloon deflating, then I looked up and it was like somebody had put one of them shrunken heads on Mr. Tapper’s shoulders.”

A CNN spokesperson said that Tapper is expected to make a full recovery. Doctors plan on re-inflating Tapper’s head using large amounts of hot air. They also plan to stimulate swelling of the head by lying to him about his show’s ratings.

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s