FOLSOM PRISON — Hillary Clinton confessed today that the Russia investigation is just a sham designed to hurt President Donald Trump after her embarrassing 2016 election loss, according to a source who witnessed the admission.
“It was all a setup,” sobbed Clinton.
While being led away in restraints by officials from the Bellevue mental ward, Clinton made the following stunning admissions:
“I lied to the FBI, and the American people. Heck, I even lied to myself. When I start lying it’s just like those potato chips — you can’t tell just one. Donald Trump is a good man and there were no hookers in Moscow, no affairs with Playboy bunnies and porn stars, and above all, there was no collusion.”
“I made it all up — every bit of it — and pushed the narrative to my minions in the liberal left-wing media who eagerly lapped up every word of it. I know that I was wrong, but he still beat me even though I had those millions of illegals vote for me.”
Clinton then implicated Satan as her partner in crime, alleging that he not only influenced her, but orchestrated the whole thing as well.
“The Devil made me do it,” shouted Clinton.
Clinton went on to outline the huge conspiracy she created, from duping Jeff Sessions into recusing himself, to her payoff for the “Dodgy Dossier.”
She also explained to Fake News Direct how she was able to get more than one dozen women, the DOJ, NSA, CIA, FBI, James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Rod Rosenstein, Christopher Wray, Robert Mueller III, Steve Bannon, along with a host of others, and the entire mainstream media to do her bidding.
“When you have the Devil backing you, you can trick folks into doing lots of things, said Clinton.
However, despite Clinton’s assertion that Satan was involved, the Prince of Darkness denies he had anything to do with the former secretary of state’s actions.
Satan declined to comment for this article but did issue a brief statement through a spokesdemon, denying the allegations.
“I did not have a relationship with that woman.”